I feel as many Book of Mormon prophets did when they wrote about not having enough space to write everything that has occurred in their life time. So many things have happened in the past 22 months and I have become a different, better person because of these experiences. I wish I could share so much more but I lack time, space, and writing ability.
A very powerful thing that I have learned is agency. We all have agency. Agency is the ability we have to choose for ourselves. Agency is the one thing that we have that is completely ours! Our money, houses, families, cars, etc. are all given and taken away at God's will. But agency will never be taken from us. It is everlasting. Due to agency we can choose for ourselves. We can choose what we want for breakfast, what we want to wear, where we work, what we study, and everything in this world and the eternities is dependent upon agency. Over the past 2 years I have seen so many examples of agency and it's importance. It honestly took me a long time to get the grasp and true understanding of agency. I know that this gospel will change and bless peoples lives! But we can not force it upon them. Early on in the mission I did not understand this. I thought that everyone would want the gospel that can see the value in it. But just like how God cannot take away our agency, we can not take away the agency of others. We can share what we have and offer what we have but it always come down to the person's agency to accept the offer or to reject it. I would like to share a few examples and stories about this.
One night we were walking down the street and there was an old man sitting on his porch. We approached him and tried to share the message of this gospel with him. No longer than we said hello he had told us to go away. We persisted on trying to share a message with him. As I looked at this man I could see how hard work in life had taken its toll on his body. In the dim light from his porch light you could clearly see the unhappiness and depression in his eyes that had overcome his body and spirit. As we persisted to try and share the joy of the gospel he continually rejected the message. As we walked away from that man there was a very sober spirit that filled the air. I knew that the gospel could change his life around but at that point in the mission I had learned to respect agency. I felt grief for that man knowing that he was rejecting what will change his life. For a moment I felt a slight feeling of what Christ might have felt that night in Gethsemane. I felt pain and sadness in my soul for that man and the fact that he was rejecting true happiness.
A few months prior to this our district was doing our weekly community service at the Alice food pantry. We were putting food orders together and taking them to people's cars and getting contact information so we could go by their homes later and teach them. We met a man named Leroy. In the next month as we met with him he had a choice. To accept or to not. He read the Book of Mormon, prayed, and came to church. He received a very powerful spiritual witness of the truth. And was shortly baptized thereafter. As he was preparing for baptism the spirit was overwhelmingly powerful. At many moments as we sat in his humble home and shared messages the spirit would bring us all to tears of joy and happiness. Once again I felt another eternal feeling.
What is the difference between these two people? Agency. One choose to reject and the other choose to accept.
Remember that we cannot choose for others but we must always choose for ourselves.
See y'all soon!
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| Elder Richards and I watching General Conference on our phones in quarantine. |
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| The way zone conferences happen during a pandemic. |
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| Cleaning day preparing for Easter |
